Comfort for a Rough Weekend

It's been a rough couple of days. Among other things, I found out yesterday that someone I treasure passed away of a heart attack on Friday night. I've spent the weekend holed up in my flat remembering, baking, and making art. It's what I do when I want to honour someone's impact on my life.

Monty and I had an ongoing, intermittent conversation about the richness of life. He seemed like a good person to ask about it because he was always smiling, always kidding around. He taught me a lot about what it meant to be generous with your self rather than your pocketbook. He also taught me what it looked like to find little ways to make yourself happy regardless of what was going on around you. Despite the age difference - he's a good 25 years older than me, I think - our ideas about being happy were remarkably similar. The one thing that he was better at than I was was not waiting for something else to come around to cause delight. He'd look for it... never seemed to waste any time. Took me a while to figure that out; it's a skill I am still working on. He also never lost the chance to hug someone. That's something I try to not take for granted, either.

I've had this recipe hanging out for a few months now. Found it online, and tucked it away with the intention of making it with a friend via Skype when we found the time. It took me realizing that Monty probably had a to-do list somewhere of things he intended to get around to that he didn't get to finish for me to decide to pull it out. That, and the caramels in the centre reminded me of hugs. It seemed appropriate.

 Apple Cider Caramel Cookies

1 cup unsalted butter, nearly melted
1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt
1 (7.4 ounce/10 packages) box Alpine Spiced Apple Cider Instant Original Drink Mix (Not sugar free)
2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 (14 ounce) bag Kraft Caramels

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (190 degrees C). Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. It has to be parchment this time.

2. In a stand mixer, cream together butter, sugar, salt, and all 10 packets of apple cider mix until smooth and fluffy. Beat in eggs and vanilla extract, then mix in the baking soda and baking powder. Add the flour and mix until just combined.

3. With a standard (size 50) cookie scoop, scoop the dough scrapping off the excess as you go up the bowl. Flatten the dough slightly in your hand and place a caramel in the center. Work the dough around the caramel sealing well. Place the cookies two inches apart on the sheets.

4. Bake 12 to 14 minutes or until golden brown around the edges. After baking, carefully slide the parchment with the cookies onto the counter. Let cool until they are no longer soft but still slightly warm. Twist gently to remove, and cool the rest of the way upside down on the parchment or on a cooling rack.


Notes: If cookies get too cool before you twist them off, freeze the whole sheet for a few minutes and they’ll come right off.

I didn't make too many modifications to the recipe, other than I used Werther's soft caramels (they were on sale) and cut them in half. I got ~60 medium sized cookies out of the dough, although the last dozen or so had no caramel in them (they are still delicious). 

To any of the Drummers who are reading this, I am very sorry I can't be there on Friday for the Memorial. I hope that you all have an excellent evening of community and memory. <3

Banana Bread: An Intersection of Memories and Breakfast

It's grey here today and the forecast tells me that it's going to get cold for the next few days, hovering between -25C and -30C. There is supposed to be more snow, 10-20 cm of it. I am a little out of sorts, sore from having fallen on my way to the grocery yesterday. The roads are like reverse Etch-A-Sketches, this thick, heavy slush over a layer of polished ice. Whenever a car passes by, new lines appear over the old. It's oddly hypnotic if you stop to watch. Last night someone in a big truck got stuck in the road in front of the glazier next door. From one in the morning until shortly before two, the impatient staccato sounds of the motor revving and failing to get free annoyed me. I suppose I should admire the driver's persistence but I don't, having spent the better part of an hour thinking "Dude - it's after 1 am. You've been at this for too long already. Have some mercy on us, call a cab, go home, and come back in the morning." In short, I am a little grumpy. Not much, but enough that I don't really want to go out and deal with people right now.

I don't like being grumpy in the morning. It can throw off my entire day. Since I've discovered this, I have started trying to think my way around it, which (most days) isn't that hard. This morning I got up and made tea (it's a big pot day), and went through this odd little ritual I have for grumpy mornings where I smell all the teas I have in their colourful containers and just ask myself "What do you want?" It's kind of like making a peace offering to an unhappy roommate, even if it is just myself. This morning I surprised myself by picking "The Big Apple" from David's Teas, a tea I wasn't really thrilled with the first time I brewed it despite how incredible it smells in the store. Today its slight astringency suits. Funny how that happens. While the tea is steeping, I assemble breakfast. Two slices of spiced banana bread and two blood oranges. Blood oranges are one of my favourite things, and I eat them like they are going extinct when they are in season. There is something really plush about their colouring and their sweetness. And I like that you can pretend they are vampires if you want to.

The blood oranges are today's addition to a variation on my favourite breakfast, discovered while I was visiting Renaud in France in 2005. I fell in love with very simple cooking during that trip and breakfast was the simplest of all - staling bread with Nutella, jam, or honey, and plenty of tea and conversation. I remember those as some of the best mornings of my life, talking about games and books and assorted other things. On a return visit in 2011, breakfast was a slice of an amazing lemon poundcake and plenty of tea. This morning the memories are evoked with spiced banana bread and plenty of tea. And blood oranges, because I don't see the point of not eating the fruits you love when you have the chance. Memories are malleable. So are menus. So are moods. ^_^

My favourite banana bread recipe comes from Jean Paré's book 'Muffins and More' from the Company's Coming series. At one point I had all of these books, but this one is the only one I've retained because it is such an excellent grounding in quickbreads and those are probably my favourite things to make. The recipe is below - again, the ingredients are direct from the book, and the description has been guided by the book while incorporating my alterations and observations. 

Banana Bread

(p. 40)

Yields 1 loaf

1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened*

1 cup granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 cup mashed ripe bananas (~3 medium)

2 cups all purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup chopped walnuts or chocolate chips (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350F. Grease a 9x5x3 inch loaf pan. 

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar together. Add eggs one at a time, beating until smooth. Blend in the mashed bananas. It's okay if they leave the batter a little lumpy.

In a second bowl, stir flour with the remainder of the dry ingredients. Incorporate the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, stirring only to moisten things enough that there are no streaks or patches of dry ingredients. Stir in the chocolate chips or nuts, if you are using. I omitted the nuts and chocolate for this recipe and added some ground roasted ginger, some cinnamon, and some cardamom**... probably about a teaspoon each? I couldn't say for sure, because I just shake the container until it smells right. That is probably not helpful. Sorry. When everything is finessed to your liking, scrape the batter into the prepared loaf pan.

Bake for about one hour, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Let stand for 10 minutes and then remove from pan and let cool. Wrap to store. Freezes really well. 

*I tend to sub out the butter in this recipe for nonfat greek yogurt, as I like how it helps the loaf darken and how it gives the crumb a bit more tooth. 

**You don't have to use these three, I just happen to love them. This loaf is a great blank canvas for playing around, so take that as an invitation to experiment.

The rest of the day will be school reading ("The Condition of Postmodernity" by David Harvey) possibly interrupted by a search for the battery charging cable for my Rebel. I think I'd like to be using that camera to take the pictures for this project. You'd think it'd be hard to lose something in 330 square feet. Apparently, not so much...

Hypothesizing Cheesecake

So... I was thinking about possibilities for converting the lemongrass-lime dip from the last post into a cheesecake. And then I remembered that the Fine Cooking website has this nifty selection of recipe generators, including a "Create Your Own Cheesecake" generator. It doesn't have all the options I'd like available, but it's a great place to start designing a cheesecake. I started playing around in it, just popping in the closest ingredients available in the generator based on what is present in the recipe for the dip. This is what came out:

Serves 8-10

8 oz. gingersnaps, finely crushed (2 cups of crumbs)

3 Tbs. granulated sugar

7 Tbs. unsalted butter, melted

3 8-oz. packages cream cheese, at room temperature

3/4 cup sour cream or creme fraiche

2 Tbs. all-purpose flour

Table salt

1-1/4 cups granulated sugar

2 Tbs. finely grated lime zest

2 Tbs. finely chopped fresh ginger

2 Tbs. finely chopped crystallized ginger

1 Tbs. pure vanilla extract

4 large eggs, at room temperature

Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat the oven to 375 degrees F.

In a medium bowl, stir together the gingersnap crumbs and 3 Tbs. granulated sugar. Mix in the melted butter until the crumbs are evenly moist and clump together slightly. Transfer the mixture to a 9-inch springform pan and press evenly onto the bottom and about 2 inches up the sides of the pan (to press, use plastic wrap or a flat-bottom measuring cup). Bake until the crust is fragrant and slightly darkened, 9 to 12 minutes. Let the pan cool on a rack. Lower the oven temperature to 300 degrees F.

In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese, sour cream, flour, and a pinch of table salt on medium speed, scraping down the sides of the bowl and the paddle frequently, until very smooth and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Make sure the cheese has no lumps. Add the 1-1/4 cups granulated sugar and continue beating until well blended and smooth.

Add the lime zest, fresh ginger, and crystallized ginger and vanilla, and beat until blended, about 30 seconds. Add the eggs one at a time, beating just until blended. (Don't overbeat once the eggs have been added or the cheesecake will puff too much and crack as it cools.) Pour the filling into the cooled crust and smooth the top.

Bake at 300 degrees F until the center jiggles like Jell-O when nudged, 55 to 65 minutes. The cake will be slightly puffed around the edges, and the center will still look moist. Set on a rack and cool completely. Cover and refrigerate until well chilled, at least 8 hours and up to 3 days. The cake can also be frozen at this point for up to 1 month. (To freeze, put the unmolded, cooled cake on a rimmed baking sheet in the freezer, uncovered, until the top is cold and firm; then wrap it in two layers of plastic and one layer of foil. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator.)

Unclasp and remove the side of the springform pan and run a long, thin metal spatula under the bottom crust of the cheesecake. Carefully slide the cake onto a flat serving plate.
To serve, run a thin knife under hot water, wipe it dry, and cut the cake into slices, heating and wiping the knife after every slice.

I think I would rub some lime zest into the granulated sugar for the crust, replace the table salt with sea salt (that is just something I do. I read a book on the history and manufacturing of salt and I don't think I'll eat table salt again if I can avoid it... *shudders*), add 1-2 Tbs of lemongrass paste (1 Tbs = 1 stalk), and reduce the vanilla to 1/2 Tbs, adding 1/2 Tbs of this lovely, Polish lemon essence I have, just to bump up the citrus a bit.

And Cass has already volunteered to be my taste tester, so I guess the next time I am home this is getting made. Once it is made, we can tweak the recipe until it's where we want it. Looks like it will need to be something of a party - that is a big cheesecake.

^_^

Sweet Potato Wedges with Lemongrass Creme Fraiche

I read a bit of 'Plenty' last night before bed, browsing for recipes that intrigued me. It occurred to me after I had flagged a few that I have already spent about half my monthly food budget restocking the fridge when I returned from my holidays in Alberta. This meant I am going to need to be slightly more  selective and less whimsical in my choices for now and find recipes that incorporate what I already have on hand. Still, not a difficult chore with such a great book. I need to either track down or make some preserved lemon, some puff pastry and some vegetable stock. Each comes up in a few recipes, so it will be good to have them on hand. I've noticed that Yotam has a thing for quantities of cilantro and red chiles - this could be a bit of a challenge for me. Neither of the two grocery stores closest to my flat (a Safeway and an Extra Foods) carry much in the way of fresh herbs or the more 'exotic' peppers. The Superstore on the east end does and I go there sometimes with Jeralyne. Yes, this project is definitely going to teach me meal planning. ^_^

There are a few spices that I am not sure will be easy to come across in Regina - I've never seen urfa biber and za'atar before, for example. I was mulling over what I wanted to do about that while cleaning my flat and I found my birthday card from my Grama. She gifted me with some money and I decided that I would use that to help set up this project (Thank you, Grama!). So I went on to the Silk Road website, found the two spices I didn't think I'd find locally, and then selected a few more things that would be lovely little luxuries to have: saffron, which comes up in another recipe; whole coriander and caraway seeds which show up in other recipes; and for sheer luxury, some cocoa nibs and some black truffle salt. The cocoa nibs I'd like for making granola and shortbread. The truffle salt makes me think of eggs and popcorn. Not together. Just to be clear.

I've spent the last few days reading ("Godless at the Workbench: Soviet Illustrated Humoristic Antireligious Propaganda" by Annie Gerin), working on some paperwork, running errands, cleaning, and cooking. There is something about being away for an extended period that makes me want to cook. Especially after the lushness of food that happens around Christmas - I feel more than ready for simple food and lots of vegetables. There is an enormous pot of vegan chili in the crockpot right now to be frozen in portions for lunches and the nights that I don't feel like cooking. I also made a loaf of banana bread with cinnamon, roasted ginger, and cardamom in an effort to cull the zombie banana horde before they took over my freezer. And dinner tonight is my first recipe from Plenty - sweet potato wedges with lemongrass-infused dipping sauce accompanied by a green salad.

I chose this recipe to start with because it is simple. I already had almost everything on hand, and sweet potatoes are familiar to me, so no intimidation factor. I took a quick walk to the grocery for the few ingredients I was missing and realized I'd have to make some exemptions and substitutions - cilantro was not to be had, and therefore would be omitted; red chiles were not available, so I picked up a fresh jalapeno instead. The recipe also calls for creme fraiche, which is both difficult track down out here and hard for me to digest, for which I decided to substitute a plain 0% Greek yogurt that I know I can eat.

Here's the recipe - the ingredients are exactly as listed in the book, the recipe description is guided by the book but includes the adjustments and observations I made:

Sweet Potato Wedges with Lemongrass Creme Fraiche
(p. 26)
Serves 4

3 medium sweet potatoes (~2 lbs in total)
4 tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 tsp ground coriander
3/4 tsp fine sea salt
1 fresh red chile, finely diced
1 cup cilantro, leaves picked

Dipping Sauce
1/2 lemongrass stalk
3/4 cup creme fraiche
grated zest and juice of two limes
1 inch fresh ginger, peeled and grated
1/2 tsp fine sea salt

Preheat the oven to 400F. Assemble all of your ingredients on the counter if you like. I find this pretty convenient.

Wash the sweet potatoes but don't peel them (I cut out any gnarly parts). Cut each sweet potato lengthwise in half. Cut again lengthwise into quarters and then once more the same way - you should end up with eight long wedges per sweet potato.

Grab a roasting pan and line it with parchment paper. Brush the parchment paper with some of the olive oil - lightly does it. Place the wedges into the roasting pan. Brush the wedges with the remaining oil and sprinkle with the ground coriander and the salt. I found that I had ~1 1/2 tbsp olive oil left over after this stage; 4 tbsp seems pretty generous. On the plus, I used my Arbosana olive oil, which has a lovely green colour and smells a bit like fresh cut grass. The way it smells makes me happy.

I don't know if you can see it too well in this picture, but it's quite green.

Everything in the pan, ready for the oven.

Roast the sweet potatoes for ~25-30 minutes, or until the sweet potato is tender and golden brown. Remove from the oven and let them cool down a little before serving. They can be eaten either warm or at room temperature.

While the sweet potatoes are roasting, start putting together the dipping sauce. Very finely chop the lemongrass or grind finely in a spice grinder. Or cheat like I did and get a tube of the lemongrass paste (finding fresh lemongrass within walking distance of my flat seems to be an impossible challenge; I hear there is a new Asian grocery further north of me, but that will be an adventure for another day). Whisk all of the ingredients for the dipping sauce together and set aside. The sauce was where I ran into a bit of trouble - my limes were pretty huge, and I ended up with far more zest and juice than I actually needed. I ended up reserving some zest to dry a bit and add to sugar. And I put all of the lime juice in against my better judgement (I always try to follow a recipe to the letter the first time) and ended up with a really bracing, soupy dip. I ended up adding another ~ 1/4 cup of yogurt to the dip just to try to thicken it again. It's still pretty lime-y, and I imagine it will be moreso tomorrow after the zest has had a chance to release its oils to the yogurt more fully. I recommend that if you are going to duplicate this one, add the lime juice about a tablespoon at a time until you get a consistency and a flavour you like. That said, the dip is delicious, and my kitchen smelled amazing while I was making it. I think I want to convert it into a cheesecake... the trifecta of lemongrass, lime, and fresh ginger could make for a really fun, slightly sweet dessert. But that will be a project for another day.

A tip for dealing with the limes, in case anyone is interested: I don't own a rasp grater or a box grater, which is what a person would normally use to grate the zest of a lime. I own a little zester, but it makes tiny little curls that are pretty as garnishes and impractical for any significant amount of zesting. What I do is use my vegetable peeler to peel the zest off the citrus, and then just chop it to the size I want it. Works quite well. I can see myself wanting a rasp grater in the future. Might be fun. Also, try peeling ginger with a teaspoon. Works like a charm and you get to keep a lot more of the root than if you do it with a knife. Or at least, that is true for me.

When ready to serve, place the wedges on a large, flat serving dish. Sprinkle with the diced chile and cilantro leaves, and serve with the sauce on the side.

I'd make this again. And the dipping sauce is surprisingly good as a salad dressing if used sparingly.

Also, if anyone else is familiar with Blogger - any idea how to make accents and special characters show up in here?

A Year of Plenty

Cooking and baking have always been important to me. Equal parts meditative, creative, nurturing, delicious. I have found comfort and feelings of competence in the kitchen as a result of my many attempts to feed myself and those I care about.

I lost something of myself a while ago. As a result, I am going through the tandem processes of a divorce and self-(re)discovery. I won't talk too much about the divorce here as this is not the place for it, but I feel it is important to mention as it is part of the foundation of this blog. My motivation for writing this is keeping myself honest as I try to reclaim those little bits of me that I abandoned or let get rusty. When you go through a divorce, self-care becomes something you learn about. I think anyone who goes through stress learns about it. What I learned was that I wasn't very good at it, strongly preferring to focus my attention on others. So I started setting myself challenges as a way to meet myself (if that sounds strange, please believe me - I feel like someone I didn't know a year ago, so it's apt) and explore what it is that I like, what is good for me. I surprised myself by keeping a photo-a-day project going into its third year. I challenged my bookworm self to try yoga and found out I loved it. I am working on my Master's thesis, challenging myself with opinions and theories that I had never been exposed to before. Through each of these things and a bunch of others, I am learning things about myself that I didn't know. I've reclaimed activities that I thought I'd never get back to. What a ride. 

One thing I want to reclaim is my passion for being in the kitchen. It's been missing for a while, and I'd like it back. I've been cooking to feed myself, sure. I've even been cooking for others, baking to take things into the office, that kind of thing. But I find it's easier to do a good job when I am doing it for others. I'd like to learn how to do it for me. Hence the blog. I am better at keeping to my self-imposed challenges if I tell other people they are happening, and if other people take an interest. I think most people are like that - better as social creatures rather than existing in a vacuum. So here it is. My attempt at cooking my way through an entire cookbook in 2013. You are welcome to observe. ^_^

The book I have chosen is one that I already own, but have yet to cook much from: Plenty by Yotam Ottolenghi.

I have chosen this book for a couple of reasons: 

1) I have been doing a lot of thinking about the intersection of consumerism and experience, and figure why buy a new book when I have one already that I haven't fully experienced. I want things around me to be both beautiful and useful.  

2) The photography (shot by Jonathan Lovekin) is amazing and I find it very inspiring.

3) The book is vegetarian, a cooking style which suits my student-sized budget and my preference for eating meat only a few times a month. I figure it will also help me to learn how to meal plan, which will be a good skill to have.

4) The flavour profile is influenced by the Middle East, which I don't have a lot of experience with, so it will be an adventure.

5) The recipes don't look ridiculously complicated, which makes preparing them on a weeknight feasible. There aren't a lot of things called for that I don't already have or can't make myself, so I am not completely redesigning my pantry for the sake of this challenge.

There are roughly 130 recipes in this book (check out the table of contents on the Amazon "Look Inside" function to see more; I love how he organizes the chapters). I am aiming for making two or three recipes a week - I'll adjust as needed given travel and such. I don't plan to have a regular update schedule as that kind of thing doesn't work so well for me (so no "always on Monday and Wednesday" kind of thing). I plan to write up a post each time I cook something from Plenty, with my observations on how the recipe went, any adjustments I made, etc. And pictures, because that is always fun. I don't have a lot of experience with food photography, so there is another skill I can improve as this goes on.  I'll probably also include other things I make that are not from this book, as it doesn't include a lot of baking and I bake a fair amount. As this is a project for myself, I am not going to go to extensive effort to accommodate for dietary restrictions that are not my own, but I will make sure that if I make a substitution, I'll mention it. Mostly so I have a record of what I did that doesn't involve getting pen all over the actual book. ^_~

Here's to a good year.